Five Years Later…

 

I know I promised you “It’s a War Zone Out There!” and don’t worry, it’s still coming. The last month leading up to my extradition from New Orleans was particularly hectic and stressful and I just couldn’t find the time to write. Besides, I think you’ll all agree after reading on, that this post should take priority.

September 16, 2006

That’s right cave dwellers, today marks the fifth anniversary of the day my wife and I vowed to spend the rest of our existence driving each other crazy… and we’ve both been doing a pretty good job! Those of you thinking today’s post was going to be focused on celebrating the Blu-ray release of the Star Wars Saga only get partial credit for your effort. Those of you who had no idea that Star Wars is out on Blu-ray today… there may be no hope for you.

Five years ago today I embarked on a never-ending quest to understand my wife. It’s amazing to me that you can learn enough about a person through dating that you realize you need to be with them always, and yet be reminded on a daily basis for years to come how little you really know about them. Granted, I have spent less than have of those years actually living with my wife due to my job (she recently quantified it as 27 out of 60 months), but the woman I proposed to back then is basically a complete stranger compared to the woman I’m currently married to, and I’m betting there are many more surprises yet to come.

For example, after a year of marriage, I awoke one morning at about 3AM to discover that the lights were on and the bed was being made with me in it! The details are fuzzy, my half-asleep brain only picked up the words, “These crooked sheets are making my legs ache! Hold still!” Now, fast forward to a little over a year ago when I was living in a hotel room outside of Louisville, sleeping in a bed that only required a quick tug of the covers to restore it to it’s “made” state… until she came to spend the weekend. I’ve learned it only takes her an hour to make my bed resemble the path of a tornado.

There have been countless such discoveries over the course of our short time as husband and wife. Only two or three weeks ago she was completely stumped by the phrase “Sweep the leg!” (really, you’ve never seen “The Karate Kid"?). Of course not all of the little revelations were of the “No Way!” variety, but the others don’t have the same comedic value. I’m sure she’s learned a thing or two about me that’s given her cause to shake her head in disbelief. When she picked me up at the airport upon my return from Louisiana, I’m sure she wasn’t expecting the shaved head and the goatee long enough to put in my mouth. Let me be clear, I’m not admitting to walking around with my beard in my mouth, that’s just a description to give you an idea of the length.

I don’t think there will ever come a day when I know all there is to know about my wife, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Not only have we learned volumes about each other, but we continue to learn more about ourselves. We’ve discovered and cultivated new interests and hobbies, separately and together as a couple. Over the last five years I’ve learned more about myself than I ever knew before, and I don’t think that would have been possible without her at my side. I can sincerely say that I like who I am. Because she has chosen to share her life with me I can enjoy… being me. I am better because she chooses me. 

Has It Really Been That Long?

As adults we are all too familiar with how time seems to pass faster as we age, but that never dulls the realization you feel when you see an older picture of yourself. It certainly doesn’t feel like it’s been five whole years. 



















It doesn’t quite add up until you start putting together all of the stuff you’ve done. Like that trip to Hawaii,

the Eagles/49ers game in San Francisco, major purchases made like the motorcycle, Mrs. B’s ever-growing skill as a photographer, bowling or other miscellaneous get-togethers, numerous holidays and birthdays, sight-seeing in new cities and endless variations of beard growth all serve as a reminder, not just of how much time has passed, but of how much life has been experienced and shared in our time together. There’s no better way to emphasize that than with a Photo Montage! Feel free to hum or sing your favorite, montage-appropriate song as we relive a few of the highlights pictured below.
    

 
Well, that was fun, wasn’t it? We sure have had a lot of great experiences over the last five years and I can’t wait to see what the next five bring.

What Have I Learned?

Gather ‘round everybody and let me impart to you a little of the wisdom I have gained thus far. And bear in mind, I do not consider myself a marriage expert by any means. Believe me when I say, the fact that we are still married and very much in love today says a lot more about how wonderful she is than it says about how easy I am to put up with.

I have learned that one of the worst possible phrases a husband can say to his wife is “I don’t care”. Calm down, lets work some context in there before you lynch me for being a monster. As was already mentioned in a previous post, my wife is free to do whatever she likes with every space of our home, the only exception being the Man-Cave. However she wants to arrange the furniture, whatever color she wants to paint the walls, anything that helps her define our living space as “our home” is fine by me, as long as it makes her happy. Sounds pretty good, right? And she loves adding all the little personal touches that reflect her creative personality, but because she is so considerate, she is always seeking my input. That’s when I say it, without thinking that it might carry a very different meaning to the ears of my sweet wife than it does to any of the male co-workers I am used to communicating with all day.

I do care. I care that she is happy in the place that is our home, but I simply… have no preference. Beyond wanting her to be proud of the home we maintain and being able to express herself, I just have no input. I struggle to find a more appropriate way to express that, and like a true caveman I blurt out, “I don’t care”.

Now that I think about it, we’ve had more than a few misunderstandings that begin with me using the very words that accurately define what I mean to say, while she deciphers the words I use to find the secret code I had no idea was there. In a nutshell, there is much to be gained and many arguments to be avoided by simply understanding that men and women generally communicate in fundamentally different ways. Please note that this is based on my limited experience, I have no desire to spark a gender war. I didn’t start the fire, it was always burning. That’s my advice, take it for what it’s worth.

The Big Day

Knowing that I am a very lucky man, you can bet I’ve put a lot of time and consideration into planning something special for the wonderful woman who continues to put up with me and loves me more everyday. What’s on the docket you ask? I’d tell you, but I’m sure she’ll be reading this only moments after posting. You wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise, would you?

To My Lovely Bride of Five Years

I love you with all of my heart Pinky! Thank you for a wonderful five years, I look forward to many, many more. I’ll see you soon.

Happy Anniversary Sweetness!!!

Innocence Lost…

…Or Is It?

I was out in the field recently when one of my co-workers pointed behind me and asked, “What kind of cloud is that?”

I turned around, looked into the sky and replied, “A rabbit… or maybe a dragon. I’m a Field Engineer, not a meteorologist!”

It got me thinking. I can vaguely recall having the ability to lie on my back in the grass for hours, seeing a countless variety of ever-changing shapes and objects in the clouds. Having no thoughts of… well anything, and no regret over the fact that at that moment I was being completely and utterly unproductive. Where did it go? No wait, when did it go? Did it slowly fade away, or was there just one moment, one morning when I woke up and was… different, too busy with adult responsibilities to find pleasure in such a simple relaxing activity?

I probably spend even more time gazing into the clouds lately than I ever did before, only now I’m standing in a swamp with mud well over the ankles of my steel-toed boots. Every article of clothing, even my safety vest, is so drenched with sweat that I can’t keep anything in my pockets that isn’t waterproof. And I don’t see fuzzy animals, only the potential for rain. The pessimistic side of my brain is always calculating the possible impact to the schedule and increased cost of the project if those clouds also bring lightning. Rain without lightning is more of a good news/bad news scenario, the good news being that we can work through the rain while the bad news is… that we can work through the rain. The optimistic side occasionally interrupts, saying things like, “At least it’ll cool down a little bit.” Thoughts like that are all too brief as I am quick to remember how it feels after the rain. Isn’t humidity fun?

Cloud watching wasn’t the only casualty lost during the battle of my adolescence, let’s not forget snow. Snow used to be awesome, with a capital AWE! There was nothing better than the feeling I’d get, looking out the window, to see that the world had magically changed overnight, covered by a thick, soft, white blanket. If only modern science could capture that sensation. Forget “buying the world a Coke”, pass a bottle of that around! You would have so much world peace going on it would make you nauseous.

As a kid, I could play in the snow for hours on end. One winter, a buddy and I built a… well we thought of it as some kind of snow fort but it was more like a very small igloo. It was basically a short wall, over which we secured a blue, plastic wading pool (for structural support, of course) turned upside down, with snow packed on top. We carved out little nooks inside where we could stash sandwich bags filled with the last of the Halloween score. And we could hang out in there all day without a care in the world. But all of that would soon change with the acquisition of the much desired Driver’s License.

I have a very different relationship with snow these days, let’s just say… we’re not speaking to each other. For example, a few years ago we built a job in the Denver area. My company’s portion of the work was supposed to take place during the fall, which was lovely by the way. However, due to circumstances beyond our control, it was pushed to the cold, dead heart of the fourth snowiest winter on record for the region. Imagine my delight, the very joy in my heart as I stood in the parking lot trying to get a diesel F350 started up at 5:30 each morning while the temperature in degrees Fahrenheit could be counted on one hand. And then there’s the snowy freeway commute… I have a thing about driving on a frozen road. It’s a long story involving an attempt on my life by the state of Kansas one January night.

That’s right, Kansas, I said it. Don’t play dumb with me, I have a witness.

I won’t bore you with all the details of Level B Hazmat protective gear, supplied air respirators and such. To be blunt, it was already a complicated and dangerous project, only made more difficult by the wintery conditions. In the end, it was an experience I am proud to have been a key part of and would willingly take on the challenge of future projects of a similar nature. I just don’t choose recreational activities for myself that involve snow anymore, not just because of one project or one terrifying luge across I-70 in the dark (no Kansas, I will not let it go), but because it appealed to me less and less the more I had to drive in it, shovel it, etc.. Skiers and snowboarders rejoice, there’s one less individual crowding the slopes.

The Big Question…

Basically, what I want to know is if my younger self (armed with an impressive imagination and possessing the ability to find enjoyment in almost any situation) would be ashamed to meet the man I’ve become. Have I grown to fit his/my definition of a “boring adult”? Maybe not. Truth be told, an observant person who has seen me both as a child sitting on the floor with a bucket of Legos, and as a grown man completely absorbed in a spreadsheet or CAD drawing, would probably be astonished at the similarities. No, really! I love building a new spreadsheet or CAD drawing.

And as a grown, (semi-)responsible man of 30 years, my favorite meal is without a doubt, grilled-cheese sandwiches with hot tomato soup for dunking, just like mom and grandma used to make for me. And I don’t think that will ever change. If I ever did meet myself as a child, I can take comfort in knowing we could totally bond over a melty plate of those bad boys! I actually burned myself a couple of weeks ago trying to satisfy the craving. I was so absorbed in flipping a sandwich over with the spatula in my left hand, that I grabbed the edge of the skillet between the thumb and forefinger of my right (you know, for leverage). It was a Thursday evening and, as more proof that there is hope for me yet, before I could even reach the sink to run my hand under some water, my thoughts were already focused solely on how this may affect the weekend’s anticipated video gaming.

I suppose my younger self might not find me to be such a stick in the mud after all. I may not gaze at the clouds anymore, but I can stare with that same innocent wonder and amazement into an aquarium or a thunderstorm. I can still crack a joke or otherwise find some reason to laugh during a trying situation. And, most importantly, every time I sit down to take off my work boots after a long day on the jobsite a little voice in my head sings, “Won’t you be my neighbor?”

Thanks for stopping by! Come back soon to find out why “It’s a War Zone Out There!”

Yeah… I’m Still Here…

Still alive, still kicking, and still in New Orleans

I was aware that I haven’t posted to my blog in quite awhile, but I had no idea just how long it’s been. Isn’t it amazing how easily we can lose track of the time, while deeply mired in the day-to-day chaos? Well, there’s nothing that can be done about that now. Let’s get started, shall we?

It is now July, which means I’ve been working here in the “Big Easy” for 12 months. I’ve seen New Orleans through all four seasons and every major holiday, with the exception of Christmas and New Years (which were spent in California with my wonderful wife). I’ve lived among the “Who Dats” through football season and Mardi Gras. I’ve been stuck or redirected at road closures due to countless parades that have no apparent purpose.

It also means I’ve been living on the road for 14 months, reducing my entire Louisville experience to little more than a pit-stop. Half-way through the third construction project in the area, making this a 4-game road trip (including Kentucky), I am more than ready to sleep in my own bed and spend quality time with my wife without having to operate out of a suitcase. I am thrilled at the possibility of being able to commute on my motorcycle and lounge in my man cave once again.

With one more month to go before my dream becomes reality, I have a confession to make. I have a very strong love/hate relationship with New Orleans. On the one hand I hate being in New Orleans, but on the other hand I love leaving New Orleans. Unfortunately, to fully experience the exquisite joy of leaving New Orleans, you first have to be there. I could write extensively concerning my feelings about the region, but in the off-chance that someone who lives here just happens to stumble upon my blog… I wouldn’t want to cause any hurt feelings. I know what it’s like to be in the room where others were speaking ill of my home, where I grew up, the backdrop of so many childhood memories. I wouldn’t wish that on anybody. Just so we’re clear, I’m fully aware that my opinions are just that, my opinions. I’m open to the possibility that the people who are from here may very well see something that I don’t see. It may just come down to personal taste. Maybe (likely, I think) the characteristics of where we grew up have nothing to do with it, and the fondness we hold dear for the specific locale is simply what we associate with those formative and individually sacred experiences.

What I’ve Been Up To…

You probably think I’ve conquered dozens of different games since last we met, racking up hundreds of trophies and making a serious dent in my sizeable backlog, don’t you? It has been 5 months since my last post, after all. Actually, apart from the remakes of “The Secret of Monkey Island” and “Monkey Island 2: LeChuck’s Revenge” (which took all of a weekend, combined), I’ve mainly been working on only one game… “Demon’s Souls”.


If you didn’t just get goose bumps after reading that, you are obviously not familiar with the game. And chances are pretty good that if you are familiar with the game, you are tempted to say, “Don’t tell me you actually finished Demon’s Souls?!”

Demon’s Souls is easily and by far the hardest game  I have ever experienced. I firmly believe it is the most difficult game ever made, and if it isn’t (after all, I haven’t played every game ever made) I guarantee it’s very close to the top of the list. Unforgiving and punishingly brutal, you don’t play Demon’s Souls, Demon’s Souls plays you. However, with all of the frustration, endless beatings and all too frequent death, it never feels cheap or faulty. Demon’s Souls excels at reinforcing the number one rule of video games: Only you can save the world. You are always in full control of the situation… you’re simply not good enough for most of the game. 

The game world is meticulously detailed and lit to evoke the intended suspense that is unique to each level, a suspense that is only heightened by the excellent use of the environmental sounds and enemies that feel completely natural for the areas they appear in. Ask anyone who’s braved the Tower of Latria about their first trip through the prison’s dark, claustrophobia inducing corridors and I’d be surprised if you didn’t see at least a hint of “fight or flight” evident in their body language. The folks at From Software have truly mastered their craft.

Surprisingly, there is nothing taken away by the fact that there is little to no music throughout the entire game, a design choice that would be disastrous in almost any other project.

Long story short, after 241 hours of game time, 3.5 complete playthroughs and overcoming a huge learning curve, I finally earned the platinum “Toughest Soul Trophy” and returned the disc to its case, never to be removed again. And what a liberating feeling that was!

It took me almost 4 months to get all the trophies for this game, and yes, that is much longer than it should be. Let me explain, I learned long ago that I am incapable of playing more than one game at a time. I end up jumping from game to game, having a great time, but never finishing anything. When I would return to a game I had previously been working on, I completely forgot where I was and couldn’t even remember the controls. I would have to start all over. On top of that, Demon’s Souls beats on you at every opportunity. Coming home after 12 hours of sun, heat, equipment problems, etc. beating on me, all day long (if it was a particularly tough day) I would be physically, mentally and emotionally unable to even pick up the controller, knowing that Demon’s Souls only offered more beatings. So it’s not like I played the same game everyday for four months. I just knew it could only be counter productive to play anything else on those days I was unable to face the madness.

By way of disclaimer, I did not take the above pictures. They were collected from various places around the world wide internet webs. I thought about trying to capture some cool screenshots myself, but that would require taking the disc back out of the case, and that is forbidden.

Contrary to the popular belief held among many of my acquaintances, I do more than just play video games and drink Mt. Dew during my free time. I also drink Mt. Dew while reading books! In fact, during my absence from the blog I put my Nook e-reader to work as well, finishing both parts of Louisa Alcott’s “Little Women” (yes, I accurately predicted who both Amy and Jo would marry), Alan Jacobson’s “The 7th Victim”, Timothy Hallinan’s “A Nail Through the Heart” and devoured all 788 pages of George R. R. Martin’s “A Game of Thrones”. Additionally, I also completely re-read my hardcover copy of Christopher Paolini’s “Eldest” and thoroughly enjoyed the unabridged audiobook version of the brilliant David Baldacci’s “Split Second” (while making a trip into Texas for a meeting). As you can clearly see, I’m not nearly as predictable as some might think.

Hmm… that was quite a bit more lengthy than I intended. If I was more consistent with my posts, I wouldn’t have to spend so much time catching up. Rather than try your patience with a much longer post, I’ll go ahead and save the rest for next time. Keep an eye out for “Innocence Lost” in the coming days.

In closing, it came free with my Nook and is also a literary classic, so don’t hassle me. You know what I’m referring to. Thanks for stopping by!

I Love Video Games - Part 2

Welcome back! That was a nice little break and I think we’re ready to take another stab at this. Now where was I?

New Releases: Purchasing vs. Playing

Ah yes, my dilemma. I had previously mentioned that I often purchase newly released video games, but rarely play them. If you take this to mean that I consciously and regularly make the pilgrimage to a purveyor of game software and game software accessories, exchange hard-earned currency for the latest title I am very excited about, return to my cave and place it on a shelf alongside the others where it will sit for months before being called into service… you are catching on.

If you are still reading at this point, you are probably asking yourself, “Why?”, or possibly, “Are you mental?” I think we can all agree that the answer to both questions is… “42”, but that’s another topic for another day and I’m trying to keep this one from jumping the track. Stay with me now. Keep your eye on the person in front of you, we don’t want to lose anyone today. Use the buddy system if you have to. Moving on.

There are many smaller causes and minor distractions that contribute to the situation, but today we’ll be discussing the two primary, hyphenated culprits. I am a well-informed gamer with a full-time job.

…well-informed gamer…

I am a proud subscriber to one magazine and one magazine only, Game Informer. I actually have two paid subscriptions (Mrs. B’s idea). They recently started offering a digital version of the magazine, which meant that she would no longer have to mail each issue to me when I’m working away from home. It’s a good system, in theory, with one major flaw… internet access. You have to be on-line to read it and I can’t always count on having reliable internet access during the times that are convenient for me to browse the current issue. The nature of my work often puts me in the middle of nowhere, and I never know what resources will be available to me. Now, if it was made available as a download for off-line reading, then we’d really be cooking with gas.

If you’ve ever spent time in a GameStop, you are familiar with this magazine. Every time you go to buy or trade in an item, the nice sales person will ask you if you have a card (like almost every other business these days) and if you don’t, he/she will enlighten you to the benefits of signing up for one. They will politely respect your wishes should you decline, but make no mistake, you will engage in this dance at every visit. If you are anything like me, and pop in with any kind of regularity, you will likely sign up because whipping out the card is so much quicker and easier than going through the sales pitch over and over. I don’t want to give the wrong impression, it really does benefit the regular patron, but for me the best sales pitch is, “You won’t have to hear this sales pitch again.”

The meager fee for this card includes a one year subscription to Game Informer, the best video game publication on the face of the earth. With in-depth previews of upcoming titles (often a year away), well-written reviews reviews of new releases, opinion pieces by professionals in the industry and regular fun segments such as “Sacred Cow Barbeque” and the yearly April Fool’s “Game Infarcer”, each issue is an entertaining, informative and satisfying experience. What began as an occasional flip through the pages for something that catches my eye has since evolved into a monthly cover to cover feast. I have always found their reviews to be honest and helpful. Whenever I have purchased a game based on a review that indicated not only a product of quality, but also an experience that I would enjoy, I have never been disappointed.

The downside to all of this is that there are many more excellent games being made than I was previously aware of, certainly more than I have time to properly enjoy. This brings us to the second half of the equation.

…with a full-time job.

”Full-time” doesn’t really, properly define my schedule. If bed sizes were applicable, I could say I have a “queen-time” job, whereas an ER doctor might have a “king-time” job. It’s a relief that it’s not the case… a “part-size” bed would be like sleeping on an ottoman

and “queen-time” job sounds wrong for a whole host of reasons. Perhaps a different approach…

For those of you not relatively familiar with the construction world, allow me to shed some light. During actual construction of a project there is no such thing as a 40 hour week. It just doesn’t exist. Even a 10-hour day (at least in my experience) means something happened on-site, usually in the form of a severe thunderstorm or hurricane. When the rare 10-hour day happens, someone is bound to be heard asking, “What are you gonna do with the extra time?” And what about a 5-day work week? All together now…Long weekend! A 5-day week typically follows Labor Day… or Memorial Day… which should probably be listed first, as it is observed earlier in the year… but they are in alphabetical order at the moment… and we just lost the OCD group. The rest of you, follow me. They can catch up later.

Do you remember in math class when you had to solve the word problems? Try this one. If a traveling Field Engineer puts in… lets say 72 hours a week, plus commuting, eating and sleeping (I skimp a little here), showering (do not skimp here, trust me, the world thanks you), time with my wife (for the sake of argument we’ll call this a 30 minute phone call, she’s busy too) and a sprinkling of other miscellaneous free-time activities (favorite TV-shows, learning Japanese, etc.), how much time does that man have to enjoy his video games? Correct! Not enough! Gold star for all of you!

And so it goes. That new game I’m all excited about could be played immediately, but only at the expense of the back-log. If I ever get ambitious enough to post my own review of a game, rest assured, it will most likely be a game released at least 12 months ago.

Is there any hope to be found, any solution to the overabundance of awesome? Probably. But in all honesty, I’m enjoying the challenge. Game On, fellow cave dwellers… Game On!

In Closing

Since my last post I have completed the following:

Heavy Rain
Assassin’s Creed 2 (finished off DLC)
Batman: Arkham Asylum (100%)
Mini Ninjas (100%)
Enslaved: Odyssey to the West (100% and DLC)
Prince of Persia (100% and DLC)

Hope to see you here again soon, thanks for stopping by. Oh, and if you know why the answer is “42”, you get an extra gold star!

I Love Video Games – Part 1

It’s February again already?! I am really not attacking this whole blogging thing with any kind of regularity at all, am I? So much has happened, Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and my beloved Philadelphia Eagles making a fleeing exit from this year’s post season.

I mentioned in my last post that I had just reached the wise old age of 30 (almost six months ago… ugh) and I have since had the opportunity to apply a portion of new found wisdom to my daily life. For example, Hamburger Helper. I have eaten Hamburger Helper countless times over the course of my life thus far, preparing it myself for probably half of that time. Whenever I would make Hamburger Helper, I would place all of the ingredients into the skillet in the order they appear in the directions found on the box. My task was then to thoroughly blend the ingredients together without making a mess of the stove, which is tricky as my skillet nearly runneth over. After three decades of this battle, the light bulb finally went off. Stir the water and sauce mix in a separate bowl first! It’s so simple!

It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, however. Forever gone are the days when each bite is taken with anticipation, wondering if this is the bite containing a concentrated pocket of unmixed flavoring, hidden in the curve of a noodle. Oh well, I guess even wisdom has a price. Moving on. 

Video Games

The first thing you should learn about me, relative to my video game habit, is that I rarely play new releases. This is of course inversely proportional to the frequency at which I buy new releases. You can easily imagine more than one dilemma resulting from this situation. If you can’t… then you’re not trying… or you have a brain cloud… just like Tom Hanks in Joe Versus the Volcano. Did you see it? It was great! Why is it that whenever anyone brings up one of the Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan movies, nobody mentions Joe Versus the Volcano? I suppose I can understand, I mean, they starred together in like 3 dozen movies after all. Of course, I had very little appreciation for it the first time. I saw it in the theater as a kid and most of the movie went right over my head, and I don’t think I even noticed that Meg Ryan played like three different characters. If you haven’t seen it, watch it. If you have seen it, it might be time for a refresher.

Hmmm… well this took an unexpected turn. Totally lost my train of thought. We should probably take a Mountain Dew break. I want everybody to regroup here in five, without the brain cloud.