I know I promised you “It’s a War Zone Out There!” and don’t worry, it’s still coming. The last month leading up to my extradition from New Orleans was particularly hectic and stressful and I just couldn’t find the time to write. Besides, I think you’ll all agree after reading on, that this post should take priority.
September 16, 2006
Five years ago today I embarked on a never-ending quest to understand my wife. It’s amazing to me that you can learn enough about a person through dating that you realize you need to be with them always, and yet be reminded on a daily basis for years to come how little you really know about them. Granted, I have spent less than have of those years actually living with my wife due to my job (she recently quantified it as 27 out of 60 months), but the woman I proposed to back then is basically a complete stranger compared to the woman I’m currently married to, and I’m betting there are many more surprises yet to come.
For example, after a year of marriage, I awoke one morning at about 3AM to discover that the lights were on and the bed was being made with me in it! The details are fuzzy, my half-asleep brain only picked up the words, “These crooked sheets are making my legs ache! Hold still!” Now, fast forward to a little over a year ago when I was living in a hotel room outside of Louisville, sleeping in a bed that only required a quick tug of the covers to restore it to it’s “made” state… until she came to spend the weekend. I’ve learned it only takes her an hour to make my bed resemble the path of a tornado.
There have been countless such discoveries over the course of our short time as husband and wife. Only two or three weeks ago she was completely stumped by the phrase “Sweep the leg!” (really, you’ve never seen “The Karate Kid"?). Of course not all of the little revelations were of the “No Way!” variety, but the others don’t have the same comedic value. I’m sure she’s learned a thing or two about me that’s given her cause to shake her head in disbelief. When she picked me up at the airport upon my return from Louisiana, I’m sure she wasn’t expecting the shaved head and the goatee long enough to put in my mouth. Let me be clear, I’m not admitting to walking around with my beard in my mouth, that’s just a description to give you an idea of the length.
I don’t think there will ever come a day when I know all there is to know about my wife, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Not only have we learned volumes about each other, but we continue to learn more about ourselves. We’ve discovered and cultivated new interests and hobbies, separately and together as a couple. Over the last five years I’ve learned more about myself than I ever knew before, and I don’t think that would have been possible without her at my side. I can sincerely say that I like who I am. Because she has chosen to share her life with me I can enjoy… being me. I am better because she chooses me.
Has It Really Been That Long?
As adults we are all too familiar with how time seems to pass faster as we age, but that never dulls the realization you feel when you see an older picture of yourself. It certainly doesn’t feel like it’s been five whole years. 
It doesn’t quite add up until you start putting together all of the stuff you’ve done. Like that trip to Hawaii,
the Eagles/49ers game in San Francisco, major purchases made like the motorcycle, Mrs. B’s ever-growing skill as a photographer, bowling or other miscellaneous get-togethers, numerous holidays and birthdays, sight-seeing in new cities and endless variations of beard growth all serve as a reminder, not just of how much time has passed, but of how much life has been experienced and shared in our time together. There’s no better way to emphasize that than with a Photo Montage! Feel free to hum or sing your favorite, montage-appropriate song as we relive a few of the highlights pictured below. 
Well, that was fun, wasn’t it? We sure have had a lot of great experiences over the last five years and I can’t wait to see what the next five bring.
What Have I Learned?
Gather ‘round everybody and let me impart to you a little of the wisdom I have gained thus far. And bear in mind, I do not consider myself a marriage expert by any means. Believe me when I say, the fact that we are still married and very much in love today says a lot more about how wonderful she is than it says about how easy I am to put up with.
I have learned that one of the worst possible phrases a husband can say to his wife is “I don’t care”. Calm down, lets work some context in there before you lynch me for being a monster. As was already mentioned in a previous post, my wife is free to do whatever she likes with every space of our home, the only exception being the Man-Cave. However she wants to arrange the furniture, whatever color she wants to paint the walls, anything that helps her define our living space as “our home” is fine by me, as long as it makes her happy. Sounds pretty good, right? And she loves adding all the little personal touches that reflect her creative personality, but because she is so considerate, she is always seeking my input. That’s when I say it, without thinking that it might carry a very different meaning to the ears of my sweet wife than it does to any of the male co-workers I am used to communicating with all day.
I do care. I care that she is happy in the place that is our home, but I simply… have no preference. Beyond wanting her to be proud of the home we maintain and being able to express herself, I just have no input. I struggle to find a more appropriate way to express that, and like a true caveman I blurt out, “I don’t care”.
Now that I think about it, we’ve had more than a few misunderstandings that begin with me using the very words that accurately define what I mean to say, while she deciphers the words I use to find the secret code I had no idea was there. In a nutshell, there is much to be gained and many arguments to be avoided by simply understanding that men and women generally communicate in fundamentally different ways. Please note that this is based on my limited experience, I have no desire to spark a gender war. I didn’t start the fire, it was always burning. That’s my advice, take it for what it’s worth.
The Big Day
Knowing that I am a very lucky man, you can bet I’ve put a lot of time and consideration into planning something special for the wonderful woman who continues to put up with me and loves me more everyday. What’s on the docket you ask? I’d tell you, but I’m sure she’ll be reading this only moments after posting. You wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise, would you?
To My Lovely Bride of Five Years
I love you with all of my heart Pinky! Thank you for a wonderful five years, I look forward to many, many more. I’ll see you soon.
Happy Anniversary Sweetness!!!
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